Never good enough

I wish that we could all have a more realistic image of ourselves. I’m a bit bitter about the fact that we as women have been so completely indoctrinated about what we should look like – what we weigh, our hair, our body parts, everything about our physical attributes. Ok – I’m more then a bit bitter. I find it sad that we spend so much time worrying about these things. I’m as guilty as anyone. I don’t know that I’ve ever been completely content with who I am. No matter what season of my life, there have always been some parts of myself (usually multiple) that were undesirable. Funny – any self assessment would produce a jolting reminder of the shortcomings far before any feelings of contentment with myself. It’s sad because it seems like such a waste. I’m now at an age when I can truthfully refer to “years of whatever……” When I say that I have spent “years” disapproving of myself, it literally means – years! Again, what a waste.

I recently had an epiphany about this. I was invited to a fashion show which I happily attended. It promised to be a fun, light-hearted evening with about 30 other women who appreciate a nice cut, a flowing fabric, and an elegant look. I was prepared to enjoy myself but I was unprepared for the amazing lesson I would learn and I am so grateful that I went. Yes, I had a wonderful time and I gleaned some new ideas for combinations I could risk putting together from my own closet, but it was the models that touched and challenged me. There were about 8 of them. I don’t know where they were from and I don’t know if they were professionals or not. I’m inclined to think that they were friends of the venue hostesses, not because there was anything lacking in their presentation, but because of the sheer fun they appeared to be having. Clearly, their level of comfort and playfulness with each other further lead me to believe that they were from a common social network. They just weren’t serious-looking enough to be professional models.

However, they did look fabulous. My first thought was – who has this many gorgeous, confident friends? The irony of that statement lies in the fact that they were all different shapes and sizes. Yes, they had given careful thought to their hair, make-up and clothing but the body-frames and physical features varied from model to model – it varied quite a bit. Weight, hair color and style, facial features, body shape vastly differed from woman to woman. Still, each appeared confident, comfortable and fun-loving. Assuming that the goal of the evening was to promote a clothing line, having them look comfortable and yet elegant in the garments was important. I would say the event hostesses succeeded. Someone had clearly worked with them on walk and stance on the runway. No doubt, they had been coached in exuding confidence and fun. The coaching worked, because that is exactly what came across: vibrant, healthy women who were clearly enjoying themselves. I observed each person on the runway with admiration. As each personality emerged in those few moments in the spotlight it was clearly attractive and compelling. Not once during the presentation did I stop to consider actual size or body shape. It was the whole package that was compelling and attractive.

I know that the goal was to promote a clothing line, but I came away with something far more valuable. The renewed realization that beauty is not so much about actual weight and inches but about what exudes from inside. This has far more impact on those observing then the particular details that we obsess about so fanatically about ourselves. I fear that we have wasted eons of time, obsessing about the inconsequential while neglecting to pay attention to what is most important – inner joy, peace and confidence in the person God made us to be. This is what others experience from us first. It is what makes us compelling, drawing others towards us. God help us to focus on what is most important.

A big thank you to the hostesses of this event. It was one of those “ah-ha” moments in my life.
P.S. The clothes were pretty great too.